Monday, May 9, 2011

**mother's day**


Yesterday was a beautiful excuse to remind myself of the blessing that I have been given. For so many years... I wanted to be a Mommy. I remember when I would watch my niece and her simple slip of the tongue, calling me 'mommy' made my day. I wanted that with all of my heart.
I remember the weekend before we found out so clearly it's weird... I remember having a conversation with Rob, we were in Moab on the cliff hanger trail in the jeep. We were talking about baby names. Weird... really weird. I remember telling him that I really needed to make an appointment with my Dr. when we get back because I swear I had another ovarian cyst - I didn't remember having cramps like that before. We came back a day early to go to the dentist. For some weird reason I took a pregnancy test before bed... there was 1 and a half lines... NEVER had I had more than one... and another weird note - I didn't tell Rob. We intended on sleeping in until the phone rang. It was my Dr's office - yet again calling me that my blood tests showed again no ovulation (I was on chlomid). They were telling me that they would again up my dose and I was to try again next month. It was early. I wasn't thinking straight. I said okay and hung up. On the way to the dentist my mom called. I told her about the test... Rob was in the back ground upset that I didn't say anything. She suggested that I call my Dr back and run it by them. I did - and they wanted me to come in for a blood test.
We went in - they drew the blood - and we sat in the waiting room until my name was called. They took us into a room. The nurse asked me when I last had my period and she took her little round thingy and told us a due date - WHAT? We both started sobbing.... I remember she got this look on her face - and asked, "was this planned"? I was going to be a mom... The Dr. did an ultra sound - we saw the heart beat... I was really really going to be a mom...!

My baby is almost two... and she tells me everyday - I love you Mommy!

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